Sir Dino McRex and Patton Oswalt contemplate paving over their ruined driveway after comedian Bert Kreischer, shirtless and riding a dirt bike, chases a deranged crack-head clown who stole his wallet at a topless bar.
On a warm autumn day, the time traveling dinosaur , Sir Dino McRex, and his hilarious comedian sidekick, Patton Oswalt, are standing at the edge of a bumpy gravel path, gazing at the scene with a mix of nostalgia and determination.
Sir Dino, with his scaly green skin and a rumbling voice that sounds like boulders rolling down a hill, says, “Ah, Patton, behold the ancient land before the dawn of civilization! This gravel path reminds me of the trails my ancestors used to roam.”
Piling on a good measure of sarcastic slacker rage, Patton quips, “And now it looks like it has been ripped up by a fleet of monster trucks doing donuts. What kind of dumb ass, hillbilly fuckery happened here?”
With a tear in his giant reptilian eye, Sir Dino complains, “The reckless vehicles of this era have no respect for the property of their neighbors. We must restore it to its former glory!”
Patton, rubbing his chin, says, “I’m thinking asphalt. Maybe with a tasteful T-Rex footprint pattern. A homage to the past with the convenience of the present.”
Before the dinosaur has a chance to respond, a cloud of dust appears down the path, and comedian Bert Kreischer rides up on a dirt bike, wearing nothing but shorts and a pair of boots. His boisterous laugh echoes through the forest as he skids to a stop next to them.
“Guys, you won’t believe what happened!” Bert exclaims.
Sir Dino raises an eyebrow, and his sidekick crosses his arms, “Try us,” Patton says.
Bert starts, “So, I was at this topless bar, right? And this deranged crack-head clown snatches my wallet! I couldn’t let him get away, so I hopped on my dirt bike and chased him down this path. He was on some crazy off-road vehicle, tearing up the gravel like a maniac!”
Patton’s jaw drops, and the unlikely time traveling duo, confounded by the words that have just been uttered, gasp in astonishment.
Bert continues, “I was so close to catching him, but he was driving like a complete lunatic on a mission from hell, doing wheelies and throwing confetti at me!”
Trying to contain his laughter, Patton chuckles, “Bert, only you could get into a high-speed chase with a deranged clown on a quiet forest path. Really, a squirrel fart is usually the most exciting thing that happens around here.”
Ever the wise dinosaur, Sir Dino suggests after a brief moment of thought, “Perhaps we should deal with this insane clown before we contemplate repairing our driveway.”
Inspired by Dino’s words, Bert enthusiastically exclaims, “I have an idea! Let’s set a trap for that clown!”
They all put their heads together and come up with a plan. They decide to bait the trap with Skittles and crack cocaine, as Bert swears he saw the clown munching on Skittles while riding. They set up the trap along the road and hide behind the trees.
After what seems like an eternity, they hear the roar of an off-road vehicle. The clown zooms down the road, but as soon as he sees the Skittles and crack cocaine, he screeches to a halt. As the clown reaches for the bait, the trap springs! A net swoops down and captures him.
Sir Dino, Patton and Bert emerge from the trees, triumphant. They retrieve Bert’s wallet and decide to hand the clown over to the authorities.
Bert, still shirtless, gives Dino a hearty pat on the back and says, “Thanks for the adventure, buddy! You’re always welcome at my comedy shows!”
In the wake of the day’s raucous events, they all agree to repair the driveway, and in honor of their escapade, they name it “The Clown Chase Trail”. They even install a bench with a plaque that tells the tale of their wild adventure. Sir Dino McRex, Patton Oswalt and Bert Kreischer, now standing on the newly dedicated stretch of road, pledge to keeping the path beautiful and clown-free.
As years go by, the path becomes a local legend, and people from all around come to walk the scenic landscape, where they find peace, laughter, and a sense of adventure. And so, with its new T-Rex footprints, the local landmark becomes a symbol of the unity between the past and the present, and a reminder of the wild adventure that brought together the most unlikely trio – a time traveling dinosaur, a witty comedian and a shirtless man on a dirt bike.
