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The Covid Sucker Punch

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When Patton Oswalt catches Covid and cancels a show at City Winery Boston, Sir Dino prepares a care package with Gatorade, Tylenol and NyQuil, while comedians Dan Boulger and Gary Petersen offer to fill in for the night.

In a world where time traveling dinosaurs roam, Sir Dino McRex, the most dapper dinosaur in all of history, finds himself in the year 2023. Nicely cleaned up and stylishly dressed for a big evening out on the town, he’s ready to attend Patton Oswalt’s stand-up comedy show at City Winery Boston. But alas, the unthinkable happens! Patton falls ill with the dreaded Covid-19 and has to cancel.

Sir Dino, being the resourceful dinosaur that he is, decides to put together a care package for his dear friend Patton. He places a bottle of hand sanitizer, with a label that reads “Kills 99.99% of germs”, into a basket. “This shall keep the germs at bay!” he exclaims in his British accent.

He then adds some blister packs of green gel capsules and a small bottle of Tylenol, the perfect remedy to get a good night of sleep. “These are the finest NyQuil capsules and Tylenol tablets that money can buy!” he says with pride.

Knowing that hydration is key to recovery, he also places a bottle of Gatorade next to the capsules. “Thirst Quencher, Fruit Punch flavor, Patton’s favorite!” he chuckles.

Just as he is about to add a few miniature Snickers bars to the care package, he hears a knock from some visitors. Sir Dino struggles to open the door with his short arms but eventually manages. To his surprise, it’s the comedians Dan Boulger and Gary Petersen, holding a pot of chicken soup and a stack of comic books.

“Good day, gentlemen!” Sir Dino greets them with an enthusiastic handshake.

“We heard Patton was under the weather, and we thought some chicken soup and comic books would cheer him up!” Dan says with a smile.

“Splendid!” Sir Dino exclaims. “Let’s combine our offerings into the ultimate care package!” They all gather around the wooden table where the basket of goodies is being prepared. Sir Dino places the Snickers bars next to the Gatorade, while Dan and Gary carefully set the pot of chicken soup and comic books inside.

Sir Dino, Dan and Gary then embark on their journey to deliver the basket to Patton. Along the way, they share jokes and stories, and Sir Dino even gives them a glimpse into the future with his time-traveling tales.

When they arrive at Patton’s place, they find him resting in bed. His face lights up when he sees his friends and all of their thoughtful gifts, and Dan and Gary, each wearing a Covid mask featuring a crude yet humorously silly cartoon mouth, hand him the stack of crisp, new comic books. “Fear not, Patton!” Sir Dino exclaims. “We have brought you remedies and delights to vanquish the most nasty of viruses!”

Patton is overwhelmed with gratitude as he looks at the hand sanitizer, gel capsules, Tylenol, Gatorade, Snickers bars, chicken soup and comic books, and he immediately starts to feel better. His eyes well up with tears as he thanks them for their kindness.

Dan and Gary then step forward. “Patton, we know how much your comedy show meant to you,” Gary says. “We will most happily perform in your time slot at the comedy club tonight so that your fans are not too disappointed!”

That night, Dan and Gary bring the house down at City Winery Boston, dedicating their performance to Patton. Sir Dino even makes a guest appearance, sharing hilarious anecdotes from his time-traveling adventures. It ends up being a huge success, and everyone has a good laugh, sending their best wishes to Patton’s good health and fast recovery.

Back at Patton’s place, he sips on the chicken soup while reading the comic books, feeling the warmth and love from his friends. As weeks go by, he recovers fully from Covid-19 and is invited to perform again at the comedy club, and this time, he puts on an exuberantly hilarious show and gives his most sincere thanks to everyone who wished him well when he was sick. Even the hecklers and stupid nerds on Twitter.

And so, in a world where time-traveling dinosaurs, comedians and friendship prevail, Sir Dino McRex, Dan Boulger and Gary Petersen prove that kindness, laughter, and camaraderie can overcome even the toughest of times.

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